Styles of Leadership
Introduction
Self-awareness is essential in order to achieve personal growth and the development of leadership styles of thinking and behaving.
Behavior is motivated by different factors, such as, psychological needs, values, and attitudes. The Life Styles of Leadership Inventory (LSLI) looks at four (4) constructive and four (4) negative styles or attitudes which influence behavior and affect the success of leadership. The negative styles are oppositional, aggressive, defensive, and avoidant in nature. They are the opposite of the positive styles.
The positive styles of encourager, relationship builder, achiever, and confident becomer all reflect the leadership model of Jesus Christ.
A close review of the positive leadership style of Jesus Christ will help us to transform our hearts, heads, hands, and our habits.
The development of true servant leadership can come as we learn to trust Christ. He is the perfect One to follow as we seek to lead others.
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
The LSLI invites us to take a journey of self-discovery as we evaluate the motivations of our heart. We will see how our public behaviors, attitudes, and habits impact those who consider following our leadership. When our heart, head, hands, and habits are aligned with positive styles of thinking and behaving, we can achieve extraordinary levels of loyalty, trust, and productivity.
When we are functioning out of negative/self-destructive styles of thinking and behaving we are out of alignment with the will of God. We will then be frustrated, mistrusting, and disqualified for leadership
1) Encourager or Oppositional Critic – The Heart
Psalm 19:14 “Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my strength and my Redeemer.” Effective leadership starts on the inside, in our heart. Are we servant leaders or self-serving leaders? Self-serving leaders are addicted to power, recognition, and are afraid of the loss of position.
A) Positive Style - Encourager
Transforming Hearts = Our Intentions and Motivations
This scale measures our interest in people, our tendency to care about others, and our ability to encourage others to improve. Encouragers are accepting of themselves and accept who they are – without question or criticism. They wish to help others and provide a supportive climate that will inspire self-improvement. Encouragers are sensitive to other’s needs and devote energy to counseling or coaching others. They seem to have a refined knowledge of people and demonstrate maturity and consideration when dealing with them.
In the use of His time and efforts on earth, Jesus modeled sacrificial passion for ensuring that His followers were equipped to carry on God’s work. Christ encouraged and motivated His disciples by His empowering example and words of affirmation.
John 15:15 – Jesus said, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”
The heart of true servant leadership considers their position as a temporary privilege of service which must be carried on to the next generation of leaders.
Jesus spent most of His time training and equipping the disciples for leadership when His earthly ministry was over.
John 14:12-13 – “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”
The goal of our journey is to move from a self serving heart to a serving and encouraging heart. You are close to arriving when you realize that life is more about giving than it is getting.
We will always be tempted to be self-serving. We need to daily surrender our motives and actions to Christ as our guide and role model of ENCOURAGER.
I Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
Are you self-serving or a servant leader?
- Test #1: The biggest fear self-serving leaders have is losing their positions. They fear honest feedback!
- Test #2: Fear people taking your place-fail to prepare the next generation
- Test #3: Do you need to always control? God is not looking for bosses—He is looking for people who will be servants of God as God leads
Are you driven or called?
- Driven people think they own everything
- Called people believe everything is on loan.
Possessions and positions are on loan!
Story – Wedding Cancelled in Hampton, VA – “My Son Will Not Be There”
“Girl sat every day for weeks on steps in front of her house—Father left with another woman—Why sit there? Daddy said he would be back.
B) Characteristics of an Encourager
- a concern for the growth and development of others
- an appreciation of the strengths in others
- a belief in other’s potential for improvement
- optimism regarding what people can accomplish
- a nurturing approach to relationships
- a willingness to develop others
- the ability to inspire and motivate others
- a potential to be taken advantage of by people who are highly competitive or power crazy
- a potential not to be aggressive enough with some people or in making some decisions – due to a desire to be cautious or sensitive
These people are often sought out to form relationships
C) The Opposite Style - Oppositional Critic
- have difficulty encouraging others
- may be uncomfortable relating to others
- can become detached and isolated
- are preoccupied with personal problems
- do not show concern for others
- could be too skeptical of others
- could reflect in some people a negative, hostile, or suspicious attitude
- could be a person with whom it is hard to relate
- have potential for defensiveness and habit of blaming others for their own mistakes
- could by cynical, critical, and resentful of other people
Characteristics:
In this style you often see a negative, hostile, and suspicious attitude. These people can be very hard to relate to because they do not trust easily, they oppose indirectly, they are hard to impress and they resist new ideas. When in distress they become defensive, do not accept criticism, and may blame others for their mistakes. They are often cynical and resentful of other people and are very argumentative.
They focus of what is wrong instead of what is right. This intimidates and frustrates other people and hinders the building of relationships, the opportunity to achieve goals, and acquiring a deep sense of fulfillment or satisfaction.
D) Examples of an Oppositional Critic
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Dr. Has Been
“The Center of Attention”Mr. Show Hoffer
“Self-Promoter”Mr. Bragg Art
“Deceptive Ego”Mr. Loud Mouth
“Antiquated Resister”
E) The Heart/Encourager Dimension of Leadership
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The internal motivation of your heart is your character. Do you lead to serve or to be served?
Proverbs 16:23 – “The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips.”
a) What is Your Leadership Ego?
Freud said = “Ego is self-awareness”
For Self-serving leaders EGO = Edging God Out
For Servant leaders EGO = Exalting God Only
The temptations of pride and fear make it easy to Edge God Out. We promote ourselves by being boastful, taking too much credit, showing off, doing all the talking, and demanding attention.
When we are fearful we are protective of ourselves. We hide behind our positions, manipulate, intimidate, over control, and discourage honest feedback.
Proverbs 29:25 – “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.”
b) How Do We Edge God Out?
We put something else in His place as the object of our worship
- Power
- Recognition
- Appreciation
- Money
Philippians 3:3 – “For we are the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.”
We rely on other sources for our security and sufficiency
Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
We put others in His place as our major source for significance and self-worth
Psalm 118:8 – “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”
We lose intimacy with God and we fear intimacy with others
Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
We fall into the trap of toxic fear which draws us away from trusting God.
Psalm 111:10 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever.”
c) The Opposite of Edging God Out is Exalting God Only.
How can we start Exalting God Only?
- Embrace an eternal perspective
- Seek to lead for a higher purpose than our own
- Success and pride
- Assess our true level of trust and surrender
- Admit that our ego is driven toward pride
- Believe that God can transform our motives of heart
- Identify inconsistent behaviors and character flaws
- Seek to quickly admit when you are wrong
- Live a spiritually disciplined life
2) Relationship Builder or Aggressive Manipulator –
The Head – Leadership Assumptions and Methods
Romans 12:2 – “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
The journey of servant leadership starts in the heart with motivations and intent. It then progresses internally to the head, which is our belief system and perspective on our life and role as leaders.
The critical question here is how we view our approach/strategy to relationships with those we seek to influence.
A) Positive style – Relationship Builder
Commitment to People
This scale measures a persons level of commitment to forming and sustaining satisfying relationships. This style represents a need for social interaction and interpersonal contact. People who are high in this style tend to seek out, establish, value, and maintain close associations with others. These people tend to be most comfortable when among those with whom they have established strong emotional and social ties. Others tend to see them as warm, trusting, and socially skilled. They share their thoughts and feelings easily and help others to feel important and worthwhile.
B) Characteristics of a Relationship Builder
Good People Skills
- a tendency to value relationships above all else
- a need to build relationships that are meaningful and reciprocal
- have strong, well-developed interpersonal skills
- a tendency to motivate others using genuine praise and friendliness
- an appreciation for teamwork, cooperation, and mutually rewarding relationships
- a tendency to be considerate of other people’s feelings and to be tactful
- one basic weakness is that there can be a tendency to be so concerned about friendship that one can sacrifice getting results and making hard decisions
C) Opposite Style – Aggressive Manipulator
Mr. Manip U. Lator
Dominating, Angry, Hard
These are dominating, tough, and controlled people. They have an excessive need for power, recognition, or status. They become angry easily, have little confidence in people, resist new ideas, and seldom admit mistakes. When not in distress they may come across charming and persuasive.
Aggressive Manipulators are all about Self and Pride
CHARACTERISTICS: Proud, arrogant, competitive, detached, unfaithful.
- a tendency to be reserved and detached
- others may find them difficult to approach
- difficulty in initiating and building satisfying relationships
- a tendency to avoid relationships due to feat of being hurt
- uncomfortable sharing feelings and thoughts and even suspicious of those who do
- others may find it hard to get to know them
- a lack of a strong network of friends
- could represent a primary concern with dominating and controlling others
- could be highly defensive person who needs to control or manipulate others
D) Clarifying Your Personal Values
Our values are what we stand for and believe deep down. They drive our behavior and determine our vision, direction, and sense of purpose.
We need to identify and prioritize our values into a clear underlying philosophy which explains our instinctive behaviors.
- What do you value? List 6 or 7 most important values.
- Match a behavioral example from your life which would confirm each value.
Example:
- Value = joy and happiness
- Proof = I smile, I am happy, I love to laugh, and I make people around me feel good.
Values are the non-negotiable principles that define character in a leader.
Life is all about value choices. When we betray our stated values, we distort our vision for the future and lose our integrity.
Jesus clearly ranked His priorities that we should: (1) love God with all our heart, soul, and mind (2) love our neighbor as ourself.
E) Relationship Builder’s Values Should Reflect the Following Behaviors:
- Honor God in everything we do
- Build relationships based on trust and respect which produces unity and promotes accountability
- Maintain integrity and excellence by being careful to speak the truth and deal honestly in all our relationships
- Make tough choices without rationalizing or compromising our values
Luke 16:13 – “No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”
Luke 9:25 – “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?”
Life is about choices and choices should be made based on our values. We are a monument to the choices we have made during our lives.
Leaders must be responsible to implement a clear vision of the values God has called us to uphold. Jesus came to earth to follow the vision He had been given by His Father. Jesus said, “The Son of man did not come to be saved, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28).
When we follow a heart and head like Jesus, people come to the forefront and self takes a back seat. We are encouragers and relationship builders (servant leaders) not oppositional critics or aggressive manipulators (self-serving leaders).
John 17:13-18 – “But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.”
Effective leadership at a higher level depends on whom we follow. Sustainable, enduring servant leadership actions emerge from a committed and disciplined heart, because the doing is always the hardest part. We count the cost and choose to pay the price, just as Jesus did!
3) Achiever or Dependant Self-Doubter – The Hands – Leadership Styles and Behavior
James 1:22 – “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourself, Do what it says.”
Change the way you lead! Jesus: A situational leader – A transformational leader.
- Knowledge – is easiest thing to change
- Attitude – is emotionally charged bits of knowledge; changing attitude is more difficult than knowledge.
- Behavior – is harder to change and more time-consuming.
- Organizational change – the most difficult to change because you are trying to change the knowledge, attitude, and behavior of multiple people – come not really motivated to change.
Are you motivated to change? Big Question.
What is your development of Level?
Your commitment and competency = High or Low
- Enthusiastic Beginners- High commitment to the task but low levels of competence
- Disillusioned Learners- Some experience and competence but reduced levels of commitment and enthusiasm.
- Capable but Cautious Performers
- Peak Performers/Self-Reliant Achievers
Peter = “Lord if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water”-“Come” Jesus said Keep Faith and Keep Going.
A) Positive Style of Achiever
Commitment to people
This scale measures a way of thinking that is highly associated with personal effectiveness. High scores in this style usually indicate an interest in attaining high-quality results on challenging projects. Achievers are highly motivated to succeed by their own values and beliefs. They believe they can improve things and usually do not hesitate to act.
Achievers tend to find their work highly rewarding. They are the most interested in getting the job done and doing it well. These individuals often possess the skills necessary for effective planning and problem solving. They make excellent leaders because they tend to share responsibility, inspire others, and build confidence – especially when they are high in Encourager (Style 1) and Relationship Builder (Style 2).
B) Characteristics of Achiever
- a focus on achieving a standard of excellence
- the belief that things have specific and definable causes: a lack of belief in luck or chance
- the knowledge that individual effort counts
- a commitment to making things better
- a preference for setting and accomplishing realistic and attainable goals, rather than goals imposed by others
- a belief in the benefit of asking for and giving honest feedback
- encourage others to give their very best
- value and respect people who are innovative self-starters
- thing for themselves
- a tendency to plan and look ahead
- good team leaders
- seek to live out their dreams
- usually know what they want
- like a challenge for the fun of it
- persist in the face of difficulty but are not rigid or compulsive
- fact-oriented and problem solvers
C) Opposite Style – Dependent Self-Doubter
Ms. Dumb Founded
Ms. Train Wreck
Ms. Fran Tic
Easily manipulated, unreliable, slow and frustrated.
Ms. Mali Function
Overwhelmed
People with this style may be very compliant and very considerate because of a deep need for acceptance and attention. This style reflects a fear and insecurity which make them easy targets for manipulators.
All about Self Confidence
CHARACTERISTICS:
- a lack of self-confidence
- under motivated
- underestimate their potential to achieve
- may tend to feel helpless and lack of control over their life
- could represent a dependent behavior style
- may be too compliant or passive
- insecure in confronting people
- follow but seldom lead
- a fear of rocking the boat
- could be a worrier, self-doubter, overly-cautious, excessively meek, and predictable person in relationships
4) Confident Becomer or Uncommitted Avoider – The Habits – A Daily Recalibration of Leading Like Jesus
Psalm 1:2-3 – “But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” (Read)
Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
- Before something can become a habit, it must be practiced as a discipline.
- Goal = to know the will of God and to do the work He has given to us.
- Time to Recalibrate Your life!
Habit #1 – Solitude
- Time with God and at peace with God.
- The Holy Spirit led Jesus into a prolonged time of solitude to face the temptations of the devil.
Philippians 4:7 – “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Habit #2 – Prayer
- Adoration
- Confession
- Thanksgiving
- Supplication
I John 5:14-15 – “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”
Habit #3 – Storing Up the Word of God
John 15:7 – “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.”
- Hear, Study, and Obey the Word!
Habit #4 – Faith in God’s Love (Unconditional)
- It is a reality = God loves you!
- Therefore—God wants you to love people.
Habit #5 – Accountability Relationships
Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
- Be and Seek truth tellers!
LLD-Mentoring Group-Excellent system of building an accountability relationship.
Proverbs 27:21 – “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, and a man is valued by what others say of him.”
Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 – “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
*John 13:17 – “If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.” *
A) Positive Style – Confident Becomers
The Confident Becomer is characterized by positive self-esteem, a concern for growth, and a desire for personal fulfillment. They are highly motivated, spontaneous, committed, and decisive people who make decisions quickly. They are optimistic, self-confident, and enthusiastic. They are able to tolerate ambiguity and seek adequate information before making decisions or reaching conclusions. Confident becomers are self-empowered people who take control of their own lives by setting objectives that are achievable in spite of difficulties or conflicts. They also seek to and demonstrate respect for other people’s opinions.
B) Characteristics of Confident Becomers
- a concern for self-development and a purpose driven attitude
- strong instincts and intuition
- a relative freedom of guilt or worry
- an energetic, exciting approach to life and the process of growth
- a strong desire to know about and experience things directly
- a high level of contentment
- are optimistic and enthusiastic
- a high self-confidence
- a healthy outlook
- responds not just reacts to life
- lose interest in a project when they don’t really feel strong about it
- avoid involvement in the non-important
- put first things first
- are seen by others as a successful and happy/joyful person
C) Opposite Style – Uncommitted Avoider
Mr. Lazy Bones
Mr. Cobb Webb
Mr. Ded Wait
Sluggish, feet dragger, slow poke, do nothing, walking dead
This style represents a strong tendency to avoid threatening or challenging situations. These people fear life, avoid people, and put off doing tasks out of a fear of failure or insecurities.
These people often experience guilt and self-blame over past mistakes. Major decisions of this style are tense and uneasy, avoid decisions and are evasive, shy and self-depreciating, easily upset and often manipulated, lack confidence, have poor people skills, have difficulty being accepted, and demonstrate little interest in reaching goals.
These people have poor relationship and seem to have strong inner conflicts which keep them focused on their own problems and fears. A lack of commitment and avoidance behavior makes it possible to satisfy basic needs, to build strong relationships, to be optimistic, or to enjoy true personal fulfillment.
CHARACTERISTICS
- are under-achievers; not living up to their full potential
- a low level of self-motivation
- a lack of contentment and sense of fulfillment
- low self-esteem
- are insecure about their future
- fail to take advantage of opportunities for personal growth
- lack curiosity
- are envious of those who seem content and successful
- have limited interests
- lack spontaneity
- can be preoccupied with the past
- probably also low scores in Style 1,2, and 3
- sometimes feel overwhelmed by life’s problems
- experience negative health-related symptoms due to stress, fear, or conflict
- do not usually follow values and beliefs or their values and beliefs are not clear
- avoid making decisions
- behavior appears self-centered very often or most of the time
- carry unresolved guilt over past mistakes
- procrastinate and abdicate rather than delegate
Conclusion
- Story – Civil War – Colonel Scott – N. VA Commander A. Lincoln – Scott’s Wife died and he wanted to go to the funeral.
- One Minute Apology – Starts with Surrender; Ends with Integrity
- Heart – Encourager
- Head – Relationship Builder
- Hands – Achiever
- Habits – Confident Becomer
