God’s Cure For Loneliness
Loneliness is an emotional epidemic in today’s world. Millions of people suffer from this infirmity of spirit and yet have no idea of how to overcome loneliness. There is no human condition so acute or so universal as loneliness.
Erich Fromme said: “The deepest need of man is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness.”
Dr. Paul Tournier called loneliness the most devastating malady of the age.
Mother Teresa said: “The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted.”
It is estimated that nearly one forth of Americans experience regular levels of isolation and loneliness. In fact, of the millions of Americans who ate dinner last night over 20 percent of them ate alone.
Most of us during our lifetime experience moments of extreme aloneness but what I am talking about is much more than being by yourself or away from people for a season. It is the deep emotion that you are alone in the world. There can be little doubt that many of the people who will watch this program around the world are lonely. Loneliness eats away at your heart like a deep unspoken cancer until it consumes you.
Today, I want to talk about the causes, consequences and cure for loneliness.
I. Causes
Loneliness is not biased. It attacks young and old, women and men and people from every culture in the world. From the aging grandparent isolated in a nursing home. To the young middle school student who struggles with acceptance loneliness pervades every society. Loneliness also comes at us at unique moments. It is possible to feel lonely in a crowd or after a time of being alone. Faith Baldwin said: “Loneliness doesn’t happen just on dark days, It can pierce you like a knife on a spring morning or a golden summer afternoon, no matter where you are or what you are doing.” But why? What causes this overwhelming feeling this emotion of dejection and rejection called loneliness? There are many causes for loneliness which have not been caused by the individual who is lonely but for a moment I want to focus on two causes for loneliness that can be avoided and happen because of an individuals actions.
A. Selfishness
Gaston Foote said: “Loneliness is not a matter of isolation but insulation. Lonely people build walls around themselves and then complain of their
loneliness. If we are in love with no one but ourselves, we soon find ourselves hating ourselves.” Abraham Ibn Esra: “There is none more lonely than the man who loves only himself.” “Loneliness is more of an attitude than a circumstance; more self-inflicted than outwardly caused.” —Quote When we live for ourselves others are usually repelled from us. They simply don’t want to be around us. Many times in life we feel that we can make it on our own. But, this is simply not true. We need other people. (Romans 14:7) “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.” When we isolate ourselves from others we isolate ourselves from the very people, which could help us, overcome our loneliness.
B. Sin
When we sin we are separated from God and lose fellowship with Him. Man was not made to live without the presence of God and so this in itself causes us to feel alone. When Jesus was on the cross he felt the horrible pain of loneliness because of sin. As the sins of the world were weighing down on him. As he bore our sorrow and our grief and became sin for us. For a moment he experienced the separation sin causes in our life and cried… “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” His disciples had fled, the crowds were gone, the hosannas had dissipated, and now the sins of the world had separated him from the father’s fellowship for a moment. In the Old Testament when a person contracted leprosy they were expelled from the community and had to live separately. The pain and reproach of their disease was compounded by their isolation. Sin is like leprosy in a spiritual sense. It separates us from the fellowship of God’s people. Condemnation, guilt, and a deep sense of aloneness accompany our failures. Atheist Madelynn Murray O’Hare–the person whose lawsuit removed mandated prayer from the United States public schools has been missing for years. She owes $250,000.00 in back taxes to the IRS. So, recently her dairies were sold to pay her debts. She talks about a number of things in them including her material desires. She states, I want money and power and I am going to get it. She has also writes about her atheistic cause and it’s affect on her life. She stated: “I think atheism is done for this time. I have failed in marriage, motherhood, and as a politician.” Within these private reflections of a woman who fought such a public battle against God we see a person who has a heart crying in despair. At least six times in her dairies it is written: ‘Somebody, somewhere, love me.”
A life of selfishness and sin lead to inner loneliness.
II. Consequences
There are a number of ill consequences, which take place because of loneliness. They include: withdrawal, paranoia, low self-esteem, depression, and even physical illness. The Harvard Medical School Mental Health Letter stated:
“Bereaved and depressed persons are often lonely, and the social support that relieves loneliness is often thought to prevent stress-induced disease. Research has now shown that loneliness can impair the immune system when it is combined with stress. “ In many people their loneliness can cause despair. David was a man who experienced extreme loneliness and despair. This was not caused by David’s own selfishness nor by sin but rather by a set of circumstances in which he found himself. He was running from Saul and felt all alone. Listen to these statements: (Psalms 142:4 NIV) “Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.” (Psalms 31:11 NIV) “Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends-those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery. Maybe that is how you feel today. Like no one cares. You feel vulnerable, alone in the world and without a refuge. Like you are a piece of broken pottery. Don’t despair I believe that there is hope for you.
III. Cures
God does not want us to be lonely. The very first thing that God saw in all of his creation, which was not good, was that man was alone. Even God says: It is not good for man to be alone. Thus, God created woman and gave Adam companionship. Marriage and family are meant to provide companionship. Amazingly, some people are lonelier in their marriage than out. This should not be. God also created the church so that we could be in fellowship with other believers. In this fellowship we can enjoy a communion that helps not to feel alone. Laughter–which does good like a medicine–assists in healing the wounds of the world. Friendships are also God’s design for us to assist us in not feeling alone. (Proverbs 18:24) “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.” One of the cures for loneliness is to get involved in the lives, joys, and pain of others. As you do this you can overcome your isolation. Family, church, camaraderie, laughter, and fellowship—-all of these help us not to feel alone. But, greater than all of this is God’s greatest cure for our loneliness, which is His love. God loves us and he is with us. (Matthew 28:20) “…And, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” (Hebrews 13:5-6) “… For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that We may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
(Proverbs 18:24) “…and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
Jesus wants to be your eternal friend that stays closer than a brother to you. Comforting your heart, encouraging your spirit and lifting you up. You may be alone–but you do not have to be lonely. It is said of Abraham that he was the friend of God. When you are serving the Lord you are God’s friend and thus you are never alone. Jesus is someone you can talk to. Tell your troubles to. He will comfort you, encourage you, and care for you in every way as you serve him. So, if you are suffering from loneliness—don’t despair God has a cure–His name is Jesus.
Loneliness is an emotional epidemic in todays world. Millions of people suffer from this infirmity of spirit and yet have no idea of how to overcome loneliness. There is no human condition so acute or so universal as loneliness.
