The Bible uses the word “disciple,” which in a nutshell, defines the concept of mentoring.  The word disciple, used in the New Testament, comes from the Greek word mathetes, which means “a learner, pupil, or student.”  It refers to a student who would join or attach himself to the teacher.  The goal of the student was to become a teacher in his own right and continue the tradition of the teacher or his master.  In the New Testament, the word disciple takes on a new significance because of its relationship to Jesus Christ.  It is used primarily to identify the followers of Jesus.  Its most common usage refers to those who were followers, learners, pupils, or students of Christ.  The common usage refers to a disciple of Christ as a committed Christian believer.

From Christ’s perspective, He spent the majority of His ministry investing in twelve men, not ministering to the multitude.  He trained the Twelve.  That sends a message to leaders today of the importance of training and equipping others.  That is the whole basis of ministering.  In a three-year ministry, Jesus took twelve men whose records were not that good and trained them for worldwide ministry.  The Scripture passage that perhaps best describes the mentoring process is found in Ephesians 4:11, 12:  “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ might be built up” (NIV).  That Scripture can be revolutionary. Sometimes, people read it from the perspective of thinking that they are to do the work of ministry as an apostle, as a prophet, as a teacher, and as a pastor.  However, the minister’s responsibility is to train people to do the work of ministry.  Pastors talk about how many members they have, but according to this Scripture, everyone should be a minister.  If leaders were to emphasize “ministership,” instead of membership, quite a revolution would take place in the church of Jesus Christ.  On Sunday morning in a typical church, people come together to celebrate.  And that is rightly so, but there has to be that personal involvement in life-changing experiences to cause people to go out and get involved in ministry.  If believers just show up on Sunday and have some type of emotional catharsis, then they have missed it all.

However, Jesus trained and commissioned His disciples.  Thus, the minister’s major role today is to train and equip people to do the work of ministry.  That is done in smaller groups—Jesus trained the Twelve.  That was His ministry role.  And Paul says in Ephesians that it is the work of the church to train and equip people to do the works of Christ.  Christ became the mentor of His disciples, and He has called each person to a specific role.  Acceptance of the call to follow Him means to listen to Him and be willing to learn and understand in obedience.

The purpose of mentoring is to prepare individuals for service—the building up of the body of Christ.  Jesus was the perfect mentoring example, and His goal was to equip people for ministry:  to train the Twelve to train others to multiply themselves.  The genius of this whole matter is to invest oneself in someone else.  If a leader can transfer what is inside of him into another individual, he has duplicated himself over and over again, and the kingdom of God grows.  It is the leader’s job to teach people about the journey toward wholeness and to let it be obvious through his own life.  This process shows the growth in grace and knowledge of Christ, how Christ’s image is formed in an individual, and the maturity which comes through prayer, worship, and relationship.  These spiritual foundations are sometimes caught as much as they are taught.  The mentor can do his most effective work sometimes when the principles are caught more than taught.  Thus, in the Biblical foundation, one understands that in the New Testament and in the life of Christ, emphasis is placed on taking people aside, flowing into them, letting them understand one’s heart and burden. Then they will go and do what the mentor does.

Leaders need to pick people who can carry on the work of ministry and train them to do what God has given them special gifts to do. A wise leader will train and equip these workers to do what he would do himself.  If a leader does not, he will get himself so tied down doing the small individual tasks that he will not be able to do the important work he was called to do.  But if others are helping, then the leader multiplies his own ministry.

A mentor is defined as “a wise, loyal adviser, a teacher, a coach.”  Simply stated, a mentor is someone who helps someone learn something the learner would otherwise have learned less well, more slowly, or not at all.  Mentors are not necessarily power figures; they are wise and loyal advisers.  Sometimes, learning from a mentor, is much more effective than learning from a book, because it is played out in the mentor’s life for all to see.  A mentor is someone who helps another understand and offers guidance on how to be successful.  Typically, mentoring is focused on one person; whereas, an educator trains or teaches a group.  All good leaders should be mentors.  The difference between a mentor and a teacher is that usually a teacher is paid to provide training in a specific discipline; whereas, a mentor is a friend who gives time and knowledge without asking for anything in return.  It is a matter of investing oneself.

Primary: The most important mentor is one’s primary mentor—the person one talks to about a wide variety of questions.  This is the individual who is most important to an individual in the mentoring process.  This is the person one focuses on most—the person one asks when it comes to any issue.  One’s primary mentor may change as one progresses through the various stages of life.

Secondary: A secondary mentor is the person one goes to for specific areas of life.  The primary mentor is the one who influences the protégé in all ways; but a secondary mentor is the one who has a particular gift the protégé wants or a particular insight that he needs. It is quite possible that a person may have one primary mentor and several secondary mentors.

Structured mentoring versus informal mentoring: A structured mentoringprogram is one with a set protocol and a list of rules.  A formal mentoring system will give a fixed list of things to do and then follow up.  An informal mentoring relationship can be very productive, but it is more casual and lacks clear guidelines.  It is characterized by a more personal and relaxed environment.  The informal mentoring approach may not have designated meetings or appointments with specific goals.  It may simply be a chat or an exchange of ideas.

Active versus passive: The active mentor is one who is routinely available to the protégé and is involved in his or her life.  The active mentorlooks out for things that will interest his protégé, even frequently calling and asking how he is doing.  An active mentor is participative, taking action on the learner’s behalf.  On the other hand, a passive mentor may help someone who is less experienced on an occasional basis.  He may just keep an eye on the protégé.  He does not initiate anything, but one always knows that his mentor is looking out for his well being.  Also, a passive mentor may be a momentary mentor who provides a quick piece of wisdom, leaving an indelible impression.  The passive mentor is not actively participating in a relationship; however, he may have a profound influence on the learner’s ministry.

Long-term and short-term mentoring: Long-term mentors may be available for many years, while short-term mentors may be involved in a momentary episode in somebody’s life.  Primary mentors are more likely to be long term.  Secondary mentors are more likely to be short term.

Group mentoring.

Momentary mentors.

There are four basic traits of the protégé who is successful in the mentoring process. First, a protégé should always respect the mentor’s time.  There is a difference between being involved and becoming someone who clings to the mentor.  One of the greatest traps to mentoring is that a few people dominate the mentor’s time.  So, as a protégé, one should always respect the time and the effort that the mentor is investing in this process.

Second, the protégé should take action on the information that is provided by the mentor.  The learner should earn the right to hear the secrets of the mentor.  This is accomplished by taking action on the tasks that he has assigned.  If the learner does not take action, then he has hurt himself because he lengthens the time involved in learning the secrets that the mentor has to share.  When learners know what to do, but procrastinate and do not do it, that is really taking advantage of the mentor’s time and effort by not fulfilling what he is showing them how to do.

Third, the protégé should show respect for the mentor’s efforts to open new doors.  The learner must decide to go through the doors the mentor opens for him.  One should always remember to honor and respect the mentor’s efforts.

Fourth, the protégé should pass on the gift of mentoring by taking on a protégé himself.  One must be willing to pass on anything that he has been given.  After all, someone invested in him.

As a protégé, there should be some personality traits that are very important.  A protégé should have clearly defined goals for his life, not just aimlessly beating at the wind.  Furthermore, he should be willing to take directions.  Sometimes an individual cannot accept the help that is  given to him or listen to what others say.  If a protégé starts telling his mentor that a certain thing cannot take place, then he nullifies the whole process.  A protégé should be able to follow his mentor’s instructions.  Another important trait in the protégé is his willingness to ask for help.  For example, some people hate to ask for directions. Presumably, they hesitate to ask directions because they think that around the next corner they will recognize something and know the way.  In the mentoring process, however, one should never be ashamed or afraid to ask questions.  Sometimes, people think their questions are stupid.  If it is information they do not know, then the question is not stupid.  No one should hesitate to ask those kinds of questions.  Finally, a protégé should be a team player—someone who shares the credit with others.  Anything the learner accomplishes, he should give credit by saying, “This is because of someone else’s involvement in me.”

First, the mentoring process enables one to continue with his personal legacy.  It seems that it would be important to have one’s life written on the pages of a man’s heart rather than on a slab of granite somewhere else.  When one has created something, he wants that work to be carried on after he is gone.  Hopefully, a mentor will instill information in a protégé that will be carried on.

Second, mentoring will keep a person sharp.  The best possible way to learn something is to teach it to someone else.  Someone said the best way to remember what was taught in class is to come back and teach it to his congregation.  That is one of the benefits of being a mentor—it will keep one sharp in the ways that he has developed. Helping someone less experienced keeps one up-to-date on things that one may need to share.

Third, mentoring forces one to set an example.  When one is teaching someone else, he is more attentive to details.  Mentoring requires setting the example for someone else who is expecting his mentor to show him how to do things correctly.

Fourth, mentoring encourages creativity.  Mentoring helps one to exercise personal creativity.  Mentoring forces one to provide a variety of options, actions, or steps that the protégé can take.  Mentoring helps one to get creative and step out of the box.  Mentoring causes the individual not to look at what he sees within the box, but to see all the possibilities.

Fifth, mentoring provides a window to “get by giving.”  One will not win material wealth as a result of being a mentor; however, he may win the hearts of people who will forever be grateful.  The adage is true, one “gets by giving.”  Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:33, KJV).

Sixth, mentoring enhances one’s value to another.  What greater thrill to a mentor or to someone who is working for the building of the kingdom of God than to see someone doing what he wanted to do, and he can see their actions and their efforts reflecting his.  What a benefit that is to those who are mentoring.  When Jesus called His disciples, He said, “Follow Me.”  That is the mentoring process.  When Jesus invested in those men, they continued the work of the kingdom of God.  In fact, the Book of Acts records the continuation of His ministry.  That is the joy of mentoring and discipleship.

The first qualification for becoming a mentor is to give of one’s time unselfishly.  In fact, this is the foremost requirement.  A mentor cannot ask himself, “What’s in it for me?”  A true mentor will give of himself unselfishly.  The second qualification for becoming a mentor is to possess a desired skill or experience.  A mentor must have an experience that will be found valuable.  Third, a mentor needs to be able to empower his protégé by sharing knowledge.  One should have a desire to share experiences and help others.  One must be able to communicate information to another person for it to have any value.  Finally, becoming a mentor requires a commitment on the mentor’s part.  He must make a definite commitment to be willing to share his time and knowledge.

Nurture a positive character by helping to develop the learner’s talent, as well as positive mental and ethical traits.  A protégé must be ethically sensitive if he expects to succeed.  A mentor should teach a protégé the value of upright character, as well as the downside of unethical behavior.  One must also emphasize to the learner that a personal relationship with Christ is extremely important; in fact, there are no shortcuts for prayer or spiritual sensitivity.  Doing a particular job is not as important as conducting one’s life according to Biblical principles.  One’s life should be built on the foundation of a moral, ethical character.

The mentor should promote autonomy—make the protégé independent, not dependent. The mentor’s objective is to make the protégé independent of him.  The learner may need some help, but he should not become so dependent on the mentor doing all the thinking for him that he cannot function alone.  In order to help the learner become independent, one must allow him to actually perform the task a few times. “Hands-on” learning will help him to understand the concept quicker, because he is applying what has been taught to him, thereby becoming accountable.  In actuality, the mentor is going to be working himself out of a job.  That is the real test of leadership—producing someone who can continue without the mentor.

The mentor should be responsible to the protégé, but not for him.  A mentor should never feel responsible for a learner’s behavior or success.  A mentor is not the learner’s parent.  A mentor is responsible to the protégé for doing what he says he will do and giving the best advice and counsel possible.  If a mentor takes the mentoring relationship too seriously and assumes responsibility for how the protégé turns out, then the mentor will be exerting too much control over the person by assuming a level of responsibility that can lead to severe frustration.

Conversely, the protégé should be careful about becoming too dependent upon a single mentor.  Mentors are not in the security business; they are in the opportunity business.  The responsibility will, in the end, rest with the protégé to do what he is supposed to do.  Sometimes mentors are too hard on themselves, thinking they are responsible for their learner.  The bottom line is that everybody is responsible for himself—even the protégé.  Mentors must instill in their protégés that regardless of what happens, the responsibility is theirs for the development of their lives and their futures.

A mentoring relationship must share failures as well as successes.  Being involved in the mentoring relationship means being open, sharing mistakes and failures, as well as successes.  A protégé needs to hear about the errors a mentor made along the way, as well as his accomplishments.  Mentoring is about how to go through and endure painful challenges that emerge while trying to accomplish goals.  If one avoids sharing past and present failures, it creates an unrealistic picture of the price that must be paid to reach a goal.  Sometimes, ministers could be accused of painting a rosy picture, especially about pulpit ministry.  It is not negative, but realistic to point out to learners that they are going to have some successes in their lives and they are going to have some failures in their lives.  It is not unusual to fail, but when looking at some people who seem to be so successful, it is easy to think that they could never make a mistake or have any failure in their lives.  Naturally, the learner thinks that he could never live up to that standard.   A successful mentor, however, will share with the protégé the failures of his life.

In order for the mentoring relationship to work, both mentor and protégé must agree on what they want to accomplish together.  Goals should be specific, measurable, and linked to a timetable.  At the beginning of the relationship is a good time to set objectives.  These objectives should be designed to express what it is that the mentor wants to impart to his protégé.   If the objectives are foundational truths, then they can be applied to any job or any working situation.  These planned objectives come from the mentor’s wisdom and life experiences.  Since both mentor and protégé have agreed on these objectives, the learner’s accomplishments are rewarding for both of them.

One should monitor, review, critique, and discuss potential action, not just expect performance without inspection.  If a mentor simply points the way without reviewing the results, it will not be as effective as the protégé and the mentor discussing together the outcome of a plan to determine what happened and why.  It is the responsibility of the mentor to monitor, review and critique the work of the protégé.  It is the mentor who possesses sufficient experience to know whether an action is effective and evaluate the learner’s performance.  The challenge is to set up an accountability process. In spiritual mentoring, there should always be an accountability process, because it helps one to grow in his ministry.  For example, a mentor might ask such questions as, Are you praying?  What is your feeling on this? How do you see this?  What progress have you made? What are you doing?  What are your intentions?  So, the law of inspection makes the learner accountable about what he is being taught and what he is accomplishing.

There comes a time in most mentoring relationships where the protégé begins to become more dependent upon the mentor than can be healthy.  Most relationships create an atmosphere of mutual dependence.  However, the mentor must evaluate whether the learner’s reliance on him is being exaggerated.  If it is, it may be time to administer some tough love, meaning the mentor has to give the protégé a little shove in the direction of self-reliance and independence.  The main purpose of the mentoring relationship is to foster the learner’s growth and accomplishments.  Gentle encouragement is the best means with which to accomplish the refocus.

One of the challenges that one will face in a mentoring relationship is that the protégé will attach himself to the mentor and demand more of the mentor than he is prepared to give. In fact, the learner will even rely upon his mentor to make decisions for him.  In a pastoral setting, the ones who attach themselves seem to be the ones who have the most problems and the most difficulties.  “Tough love” is taking these people to a point and then telling them that they have reached the limit; otherwise, they will absorb most of the mentor’s time.  The role of mentoring is to help someone else get established so that he can stand on his own.  When this is accomplished, then he can reach out to someone else and impart what his mentor gave to him.  If, however, a dependency develops on the part of either the protégé or the mentor in a relationship, then the process has broken down.  The mentoring process should be one of leaving the person at a point and saying, “This is as far as we go. You’ve got to stand on your own now.”  This requires “tough love.”

The law of small successes uses the stepping-stone process to build on accomplishments and achieve great success.  Mentors should give protégés only as much help and information as they can digest.  Later they apply it so that they can build a foundation of experience on which to continue growing.  The success of a protégé should be accomplished in small increments, and both the mentor and the protégé should approach the objectives of the mentoring relationship one step at a time.  It is understood that there is a vast difference between where the protégé is in this training process and in his knowledge of a particular skill and where the mentor is.  The mentor has been down the road and knows the ropes, but the learner is just beginning the journey. So, it is important in the mentoring process to take small steps and recognize success.  Some people never come to the point of understanding that success is achieved little by little.  The truth is, when the great day of victory comes, it is the result of having made small decisions that were successful one on top of another.  So, the key is to build upon short-term successes and development, and not be prone to give up hope in this mentoring process because huge successes are not in view.

The law of direction involves teaching by giving options as well as direction.  This law is born out of the belief that usually there is more than one way to accomplish something.  The mentoring relationship is not that of a master and slave.  It is a voluntary relationship.  The mentor is a resource for the protégé.  It is important that the mentor adopt a style in which the options are offered as a way of encouraging the protégé to try new approaches.  The mentor should allow the protégé to choose the path that is best for him.  In an extreme situation, the law of direction provides for the mentor to be very explicit about what the protégé should do if he is confused about the next step.  So, the mentoring relationship should involve giving directions and expecting that they can be accomplished. Mentors should not be rash in judgment nor impatient as they wait for the protégé to reach the level they have reached. This is not a master-slave relationship; it is a mutual time of sharing.

The law of risk suggests that there is some risk involved in the mentoringprocess.   The mentor should be aware that failure on the part of the protégé might reflect back upon him, and the learner should realize that the mentor’s advice will not always work.  Once a mentor sponsors a protégé, there is visibility and exposure which entails public identification between the two. There are risks for both of them, and they should face the risks together. The bottom line is that the protégé must accept responsibility for his actions even though he is being advised by someone else. And the mentor must accept the fact that there will be times when the learner’s.

The law of mutual protection says that it is in the best interest of both the mentor and the protégé to protect each other’s reputations. This involves maintaining privacy and protecting integrity and character.  The pearls of wisdom shared with one another should go no further.  Nothing will destroy a relationship between a mentor and a protégé faster than for a protégé to tell something that the mentor has said that reflects back on him. When talking about successes and failures, sometimes confidential information is shared. To repeat what is said in another setting is a breach of confidence and is a violation of the law of mutual protection. The key factor in the relationship is trust. Both the mentor and the protégé must make a determined effort to earn each other’s confidence by respecting the privacy of the relationship. They should always realize that they are on the same team and the failure or inadequacy of one reflects on the other.

The law of communication says that the mentor and the protégé must balance listening with delivering information.  One of the secrets of success in a mentoring relationship is to use effective communication techniques.  An important ingredient of communication is reflection.  When the mentor or the protégé is speaking, the listener needs to mirror back the message.  A good technique is for the speaker to ask, “What did I just say to you?” The speaker will sometimes be amazed at the reply. The listener did not receive the message in the way it was intended. Then it becomes necessary to repeat the statement by saying, “No, that is not what I said. This is what I really said. This is what I meant.” Without good communication, the protégé can build up expectations that can never be accomplished. It is important that both mentor and protégé understand what is being said and that both are honest in their approaches.

The law of continued commitment means that the mentor should be prepared to go the extra mile and be available to the protégé when he is needed. The mentoring relationship extends beyond the nine-to-five business day and the traditional workplace. The point of mentoring is not only to pass on information, but also to inspire.  A kind word, an understanding ear, and a sympathetic response from someone is more important than specific problem-solving techniques.  The success of the mentoring relationship will depend to some extent on how accessible each is to the other.  A mentor should be able to see an individual for what he could be rather than for what he is today. Mentoring can very well be a lifetime commitment.

The law of life transition helps both the protégé and the mentor to enter the next stage of their lives or careers. Mentoring enhances the sense of self-worth on the part of a mentor and generally provides a positive self-image. This is critical if one is to obtain a sense of contribution for the future generation.  When mentors help their protégés enter the next stage of their ministries, they also lubricate the mental and emotional mechanisms that permit them to move forward toward the next stage of their own lives.  One of the things that mentors get out of the mentoring process is a close look at themselves as to where they are, what they are projecting, and what they are saying about themselves.

So, the law of life transition is about change. The one thing that never changes is the fact that life changes. Individuals are constantly involved in changing. As they face the processes of necessity and reality, their lives change and they move on to another stage.

The law of enjoyment says that mentoring should be a wonderful experience.  Mentors should laugh, smile, and enjoy the process; it should be a superlative experience.  When two people are involved in the mentoring process, it becomes an enriching part of their lives and that helps make it full of enjoyment.  When mentors enjoy the mentoring experience, their relationships stay fresh and dynamic.  If a good portion of mentoring activities is full of enjoyment, it will be a positive, healthy, and happy experience.  Everything should be done with joy and especially when imparting truth to someone else.  Life is so much easier when one enjoys what he is doing. So, one of the major laws of mentoring is the law of enjoyment.

When the principle is applied to a church setting, believers forget about vast numbers and concentrate on investing heavily in certain individuals who in turn can invest in others. Suppose a pastor starts a process in his church of investing in ten or twelve people, and those ten or twelve people were to invest in ten or twelve more, then almost immediately the church is over a hundred.  This is what happened in the early church. They went everywhere making disciples. A small group of believers, beginning in Jerusalem, shook the entire known world because they were imparting one to another.  That is the mentoring process: that is how believers will be able to build churches.  If this process is followed, when these believers are gone, others will be able to carry on.  It is so important for individuals to find someone who has been a success and allow him to share the secrets of his life with them. The challenge is for believers to find individuals who will invest in them, to find a true friend. One of the most important things in anybody’s life is to develop friends. There is nothing outside of faith in God and love for family more important than friends who will truthfully and objectively share their assessments of one’s life and activities. Pastors cannot always believe what someone says at the close of a service or what someone says about the presentation, but in a trusted friend they have a tremendous resource who will impart the truth to them. This is a resource that will make a difference in their effectiveness for the kingdom of God.